What Makes a Therapist Taboo?
The Unspoken Rules of Being a Therapist
Therapists are often expected to be blank slates—neutral, professional, and almost otherworldly in their restraint. Unlike most professions, where personality and relatability are strengths, therapists exist under a microscope where any glimpse of their personal life can feel taboo.
The moment a therapist reveals something about themselves—whether it’s having a social media presence, having their own struggles, or even being seen at a grocery store—the lines between ‘professional’ and ‘inappropriate’ seem to blur in the public eye. But why is this? And where do we draw the line between helpful transparency and genuine boundary concerns?
The Controversy Around ‘Dual Relationships’
One of the core reasons therapists remain so guarded is the ethical principle of avoiding dual relationships. A dual relationship occurs when a therapist has another role in a client’s life outside of therapy—such as being a friend, business associate, or even a community member in the same small town.
When Dual Relationships Can Be Harmful
Power Imbalance: If a therapist has personal ties to a client, it can create confusion about the therapist’s role and make it harder for the client to be fully honest.
Emotional Entanglement: A therapist who is too involved in a client’s life may struggle to maintain objectivity.
Confidentiality Risks: Running into a therapist at a social event or online space might blur privacy lines.
Because of these risks, therapy culture has leaned towards extreme caution—often leading to the expectation that therapists must remain distant, neutral, and largely invisible outside of sessions.
When Dual Relationships Can Be Helpful
While strict boundaries are necessary in many cases, the idea that all dual relationships are harmful is outdated. Here’s when having some overlap with a therapist’s personal or professional life can actually be beneficial:
In Small Communities or Specialized Niches – In rural areas or tight-knit communities, it’s almost impossible to avoid dual relationships. Many clients benefit from working with a therapist who understands their culture, lifestyle, or lived experiences, even if that means occasional social overlap.
Therapists with Public Identities – Some therapists have podcasts, social media, or books where they share insights and personal experiences. Clients who resonate with their content may find deeper therapeutic connections because of this transparency.
Shared Lived Experience – Some therapists share aspects of their background (e.g., being neurodivergent, LGBTQ+, or a trauma survivor) to help clients feel understood.
The key is ethical self-awareness: A good therapist knows when personal disclosure adds value and when it might cross a line.
Why a Therapist’s Existence Feels Taboo
Beyond dual relationships, there’s something strange about how society perceives therapists as people.
“They’re Not Supposed to Have Problems” – The idea of a therapist struggling with mental health, relationships, or personal challenges often sparks skepticism. Yet, therapists are human, and many enter the field precisely because of their own journeys.
“They Shouldn’t Be ‘Too Visible’” – Seeing your therapist at a concert or on social media can feel jarring, as if they exist only within the therapy room. But why? Other professionals, from doctors to teachers, are allowed to have public and personal lives without scrutiny.
“They Must Be a ‘Blank Slate’” – There’s a deep-rooted belief that therapists must maintain a flat affect and reserved to remain credible. While professionalism is key, a therapist’s humanity doesn’t diminish their expertise.
The Balance Between Ethics and Humanity
The truth is, therapists are people, and their ability to be effective doesn’t come from being mysterious—it comes from being ethical, informed, and self-aware. While clear boundaries are essential, the notion that therapists should be invisible or completely detached is outdated.
Instead of fearing dual relationships or a therapist’s existence outside the session, the real question should be: Does this relationship serve the client’s healing? Ethical therapists continuously ask themselves this, making room for connection while maintaining the integrity of the therapeutic space.
